


5-HT

by murdergatsby



Series: Flufftober 2018 [8]
Category: Z Nation (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Loneliness, Missing Scene, Unofficial ESA Pup, dog POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 13:49:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16242923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murdergatsby/pseuds/murdergatsby
Summary: The whole situation with Yuri shook Simon up more than expected. Pup helps him through it.





	5-HT

**Author's Note:**

> Flufftober ~~~  
> [(more info)](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1148888)
> 
> Today's prompt was _pets_. This is,,, barely fluff but I think that can be expected from me at this point.

Simon kept expecting to see him again, or to at least hear him laughing. He caught himself turning to the chair he was  _ supposed _ to be seated in, to share things with him that he knew he’d enjoy, and was always found himself so shocked to see the seat empty. And then,  _ he remembered. _

Yuri had never  _ really  _ been there. Yuri would likely never be anywhere, again.

Simon missed him.

Simon knew that he wasn’t dealing with the loneliness that came with the end of the world well. He’d never  _ been _ a by-himself kind of person. He was friendly, and quirky, and- generally- people enjoyed him. Even moving around as much as he did as a child, and even with the types of hobbies he collected- people just  _ liked him _ . He never worried about making friends. He never worried about being alone.

Now, he didn’t know how to do it. Now, he didn’t know if he knew how to survive it.

Simon missed  _ people _ .

People  _ watching _ was all he had, now. He kept his eyes glued to the screens in front of him and tried to watch the world try and survive. He saw a young woman save a cat, once, and another time watched a couple playfully fight each other in the street. It was  _ those things _ that he told himself to hold on to- that evidence that people were still  _ people _ \- and not all the times that he was forced to watch the people running  _ get caught _ , and all the times he watched human beings  _ murder other human beings _ just for material things.

He told himself that the good outweighed the bad. He told himself that humanity would recover from this.

However, _it was_ _a terrible burden_ to only be able to _watch_.

 

“You’re only as good as your subconscious, right Pup?” Simon asked. He pulled his blanket up over his chest, leaving its hem just under his chin. He balled his hands and his body shivered. He wasn’t even that  _ cold _ just, the action of making himself comfy had his skin broken into goosebumps.

Pup, of course, said nothing. He raised his sleepy eyebrows and perked up his ears- because he heard Simon talking. He liked when Simon talked, even if he didn’t always understand him. Simon was good company.

Suddenly, Simon was broken down in tears. Pup lifted up his entire head from where he had it rested on his paws, and  _ worried _ . He worried deeply.

Simon had been crying a lot, recently. He had been screaming, and crying, and talking to ears that didn’t belong to Pup. Pup could see he was looking for something- searching- but he didn’t know  _ what _ . 

They had all they needed, right there. Simon always had food, and he always had comfort. They weren’t freezing, they weren’t burning. Pup was content; but, Simon wasn’t.

He wanted to bring whatever it was he was missing, to him.

Tentatively, Pup rose from the bed Simon had made up for him. He walked to his chair- to his side- and brought his head over the armrest. He wagged his tail and waited for Simon to see. He waited for Simon to touch him, and feel okay again.

Simon choked on a laugh upon seeing him. He brought his gentle palm to the top of Pup’s head, and sighed. “I’m sorry, Pup.” He said. “You know it’s not you, right?”

Pup looked up at him, and wagged his tail more. He wriggled and urged Simon to actually  _ pet  _ him. He knew it would help.

“Of course you do.” Simon answered on his behalf. He followed Pup’s suggestion and gave him a good  _ scritch _ between his ears. “You’re a smart dog.” 

Again, Simon started to cry. Instead of closing into himself, however, he chose to close down over Pup’s head. Pup allowed this. Pup was more than happy to allow this.

“What if it’s  _ all _ like this?” Simon sobbed, right into the fur that covered Pup’s shoulders. “What if Warren, Addy-  _ the cure _ \- what if it’s all things I’ve made up in my head?”

Pup shimmied. His lifted his head up into Simon’s neck and chest. He wished he could hug him back the same way Simon was hugging him. He understood that people like Simon liked to do this; he understood that it was something that felt good.

“I can’t trust  _ anything _ anymore.” Simon exclaimed. He sat up suddenly, and Pup recoiled. Simon was yelling, and it shook Pup’s security. He wasn’t sure if he had done anything wrong.

Pup backed away.

“Yuri was-” Simon continued, not seeing the way he had scared Pup. He gestured at the chair beside him, and then out in the direction of the hall. “He was right  _ there _ . He was drinking my tea. He was eating my food and drinking my alcohol.” He brought his hands back to himself, and then threw them up over his head. “His voice, his touch, he-”

For a third time, Simon collapsed. He clutched at himself as if he were breaking. He peeked at Pup, from over his arms, and swallowed hard.

“Are you even real? Are you really here with me? Can I even trust  _ this _ ?” He asked. His tone was softer. He was quieter. He was  _ pleading _ .

Simon had saved Pup’s life thrice, now. He hadn’t let him freeze to death, out in the snow. He hadn’t let the other dogs get him when they had turned on him-  _ gone feral _ . He’d risked his life both times to keep  _ him  _ alive. And, he didn’t even know him then.

Simon had also wasted precious time, precious energy, to haul Pup somewhere where he could breathe again. He didn’t understand  _ why _ that had happened- why he couldn’t breathe- and it had been  _ so scary _ . But, Simon had stayed strong enough- brave enough- to save him. Simon always saved him.

Pup wanted to save Simon.

With the same caution as before, Pup walked back over to him. He put his head back over the armrest, and waited for Simon to calm down enough to pet him again. He looked up at him, and tried to look  _ cute _ . He put his ears back, and cocked his head; he knew Simon thought that was  _ cute _ when he did that.

Again, Simon laughed. Pup felt  _ good _ .

“No.” Simon mumbled. “No, you’re right.” He grabbed at Pup’s cheeks, and pulled on the looseness of his jowls. He made pup look  _ funny _ , and laughed again. “I have to have hope.”

He didn’t sound convinced of his own words, and Pup wished that he had the ability to argue with his insecurity. Instead of verbal combat, Pup yawned- squeaked- and tucked his head further into Simon’s lap. He wanted him to feel him, and know that he was there for him. He wanted Simon to know that he wasn’t going  _ anywhere _ without him.

 

That night, Simon slept on the floor with him. Pup stayed up all night, and kept him safe.


End file.
